Have you come across people who come to you for answers but actually seem to have all the answers already?
The situation becomes even especially more challenging when they have not paid for your time in trying to help them get their answers. I have had several such encounters with people who wanted me to guide them; coaching them so they could succeed in their careers. But, as it turned out, they really were not looking for anything but to waste my time.
A Recent Interaction
I do not do prospecting for coaching clients. But, probably because of my leadership related posts and quotations that I sometimes share on social media, some people begin to think that I might be a life coach and this gentleman approached me as well.
The Beginning Of Relationship Building
He appreciated what I do and that he loves my contribution on the Internet. He said that my writing resonates with him and that he would like me to become his business coach. He also offered to pay my charges. All I had to do was to tell him about my rates.
Long story short, I got on a phone call with him and clarified that although I’m not a life coach, I do have access to a tremendously powerful business development system through a network marketing business that I build.
He was excited. He said he was willing to do anything as long as he got an opportunity to work with me. He got started right away. He made promises that he was going to do everything I recommended and that he was going to make me proud.
And then I did not hear from him for a couple of months. He wouldn’t receive phone calls. He wouldn’t be available online. It was as if he disappear from the planet.
The Next Episode With New Project
Five months later I heard from him again. This time, he wanted me to help him create his personal branding on the Internet. He wanted me to help him market a new book that he was going to publish. And he was going to pay me for any expenses.
Having understood his mindset, I did not want to waste my time asking him about network marketing business that he had started a few months ago. I did not counsel him in that area and rather treated him as a normal client and help him set up his websites.
I gave him many features of my website hosting for free to him for which I usually charge money. He was excited about Krishna World Wide Hosting because he did not have the technical skills to manage WordPress and maintain his website.
The History Revisited – Same Deal Again
Everything went well for a couple of months and then, he stopped making payments. He stopped responding to my emails or appearing online anywhere.
This time, however, after watching for a couple of months, I sent him a warning to shut his websites down if he did not respond to our 30 days notice. Obviously he did not pay any attention.
As a business, we were forced to close the account, shut down his websites and send him a final note of closure. Even then he didn’t care to respond.
Several months later, I get an email from him again. This time, no apologies, no discussion of what was the reason behind ignoring all communication I had sent him, saying he wanted a fresh start.
But guess what? Now, it’s my time to save my time by not indulging in any engagement by an unaccountable leader. I have not responded to his emails since.
What Do You Think?
If you were in my shoes, would you take your chances one more time? Would you try and give him one more chance to correct the mistakes which probably he doesn’t even think he made?
I am looking forward to your thoughts. Kindly let me know what you think in the comments below. Thank you very much for reading and commenting.
Hey Kumar,
What a venture you went on with this person. It was quite generous of you to give him many features for free and gave him information about your network marketing business. But it sounds like he either wasn’t too serious or still searching for what he really wants to do. But I would’ve emailed him back to tell him exactly why he’s not the type of person I would want to waste my time with by pointing out some of his non-responsive actions he took. This may be harsh but it’s also business and you have to think about yourself!
thanks for the share!
Hi Sherman,
I really wanted to help him and having known that he wanted help, I gave him many freebies to make sure he doesn’t run out of money before he settles with his business online. But, he didn’t show any regard and instead went missing every few months.
I guess leadership is not just about getting big titles and bit certifications. After all, it boils down to our ability to be accountable. He just failed me in those areas of life…
Regards,
Kumar
Hi Kumar,
Gosh you have patience! As a “leader” in the industry you will attract those who are ethical and respect your time and those who don’t want to do anything. This man proved that he wasn’t about to go forward by his non action. Plus, because he isn’t paying…well I would give him a 30 day notice then shut him down weather he answered me or not!
Kumar, I’ve been running a successful business for 30 some odd years. I’ve learned that people will “say” they want to pay you for your time and then try to tell you they have a better way, they can’t do it, oh there is a list of excuses.
At first it was difficult for me to turn clients away. But, I realized it didn’t do me or them any good at all if they displayed this type of behavior. I usually tell them it’s my fault by saying something like “It is against my business policy…” This way there is no room for the blame game and this guy seems like a person that will like to do so.
So go ahead my friend, kick him out…shut him down…and walk away!
-Donna
Hi Kumar,
Sorry you went through that.
My answer is, “NO” – I would not give him another chance.
I completely agree with Donna’s comment. It’s not worth it.
I have a hosting client who has problems with his PayPal account not having the funds each and ever month that the $9.95 charge is to come out…
Since having problems with him, I’ve now set my PayPal to automatically cancel him the very first time they try to pull money out of his account, and there is not enough…
My time in emailing back and forth and logging into my PayPal account, etc. is WORTH SOMETHING and the measley $9.95/month hosting fee is not worth it to me to have a customer like that.
So, he gets the permanent boot next time this happens…I’m through.
I like to give people chances but enough is enough.
Time and aggravation need to be factored in. Money is not the issue, in my opinion.
No amount of money can be worth complete aggravation.
Cut him off and walk away, my friend….I agree with above comment. 🙂
Have a blessed day.
Carol Amato
Hi Carol,
Good to know you also provide hosting services to your clients.
Well, I like the way you keep your accounts straight and ready to take action on defaulters!
Thank you for sharing your insights and experience. I am not going to give my “unaccountable” leader any more chances 🙂
Regards,
Kumar
Hey Kumar,
Well, you know we’re all different and I can understand where Donna and Carol are coming from. Had that been me, the 2nd time he contacted me I would have approached him about why he bailed. Give him an opportunity to explain himself because in your eyes he was plainly telling you he wasn’t interested. Maybe through that you would have found out more but you went the extra mile giving him the benefit of the doubt.
That was generous of you to include some free things with the hosting and blog setup but I agree, had he contacted me again after he let everything go has proved to me the kind of person he is and it’s not someone you want to work with.
This sounds like the classic client I “use” to attract back before I learned better. I don’t have this issue anymore thank goodness.
I’m sure you won’t hear from him again Kumar so you are definitely much better off.
Hey, have a good week my friend and I wish you the best moving forward.
~Adrienne
Hi Adrienne,
I heard from him again. Like I said, he wanted me to restart his websites again and he had even more ambitious plans this time.
So, I decided not to entertain him and waste my time and energy on him anymore.
Thank you for sharing your views.
Regards,
Kumar
Hello,
Well it seems I’ve also gone through the same situation with one of my colleague. The only thing I did was neglect him and reach out to other alternative.
Have a great day!
Hi Kumar,
I think the great take away here for people is do not mistake kindness for weakness or generosity as a free pass.
Without limits to those that abuse the privilege, you become a living doormat for others to walk over and leave their dirt on. Unaccountable equates to no account. I know who you’re referring to and I think that you handled this properly.
Kind Regards,
Bill
Hi Bill,
I knew that you would know the moment you see this.
It’s not just this person but it’s amazing how many people are living their lives the same way. They don’t have any value of their time or that of others. They say something and do something else.
This was a classic example of that mindset.
Thank you for dropping by and have a great rest if the week.
Regards,
Kumar
Hi Kumar,
Well, I think that you were absolutely right. At this late point, he obviously didn’t want to keep his site anymore. To me, that’s all there was to it. No response means he’s no longer interested. I’m not sure that he was eve an ‘unaccountable’ leader. You did right…not to worry.
We don’t have the time in trying to make our business work when the clients themselves are not cooperating. We can’t force a client to interact or work with us and when they’ve chosen to no longer work with us, we should move on. When they make that decision, they know that they’re bound to lose their service, their products, etc.
I admire your bravery in making a final decision and moving on.
Hopefully, he will get the message in your ‘final’ non-response.
Good luck to you.
Barbara
Hi Barbara,
Thank you for your words of encouragement. And yes, he can’t be termed as leader because to be a leader, you have to be at least accountable :-). You are absolutely right!
Have a great day! I am excited to see that your new project is working out great 🙂
Regards,
Kumar
Hello; Considering that you were an established business owner and well known blogger at the time I’m surprised you gave him a second chance. 🙂 I have recently accepted that being a blind entrepreneur makes me an inspiration to a lot of people online. So, I am exploring the idea of being a coach and or speaker. I have offered to coach three clients for free. I initially made the offer to other blind people through social media groups dedicated to the visually impaired. I have gotten one such client, so then decided would open it up to anyone. but the one thing I know I wil have to learn to do is to separate the ones who need help from the ones who just need entertainment. And I hope the lessons I learned about saying no through my first business as an amusement equipment broker will help me a lot in dealing with clients and potential ones. I think you did the right thing. thanks for sharing and take care, Max